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He got here about 10.00 - and it was great to see his eyes light up when I got up off the bed and gave him a hug on my own 2 feet - I reckon he was thinking, "My job is done!" It must have been a lot of work for the both of them (he and Stacey) to look after me whilst I've been helpless specially when it's been so busy in his section for most of the year. So apart from a friend's feelings for me being better, a lot of relief has got to be in there as well for handing back responsibility for my life, not just my finances. One thing I now know is that I'm not disconnected from the world just because my family has gone - I have all these wonderful friends who care deeply for me and would do just about anything for me. I've learnt lots in the past 7 months (once I woke up!!) and it gives me the courage to look forward and feel safe - or as safe as this modern world can ever be.
We sat and visited for a couple of hours and today I let him talk to me with his news etc *G* - Ian won a scholarship for academic excellence - and think both of them are bursting with pride. Luke is still monosyllabic but really typical of a 15yr old! And Ben gives him quite a bit of amusement I think. He (they?) jet off to Europe on the 30th for 3 weeks which is a break from work he needs - think he's been burning the early morning/late nite oil for the past couple of weeks. He gave me choccies (and I managed to eat a few without mishap - good old swallowing exercises and sucking!) and a book, lovely thick saga novel by an Aussie author, Monica McInerney which looks really interesting and my type of book. He forgot my "huge" packet of mail and stuff so will drop that in before they leave. He offered to have Ian pick me up in his SUV (ha, he's gone all suburban, golfing Dad!!) but I said I'd rather just get a taxi when the time comes - little Miss Independent, me - he's probably glad to see her back!!
Once he left, it was quite a let down to know I had no more visitors today and just Vonnie tomorrow now Chris and Liza probably won't get here: I can't see them getting well in a day from how he was describing their state!! I think I wanted to celebrate this Xmas cos I'm still here and kicking but the best laid plans ...
Because it was a special Xmas lunch, I went out today and joined the few of us who were left behind - my favourite soup (Cheese & Cauliflower) and yummy mango and a glass of Sprite - woohoo!! I'd've love to have got stuck into the prawns but couldn't eat them anyroad, so didn't waste any. Glad to get back to my room tho - the noise today has been phenomonal even with more than half the patients missing, and the way the tables were set up, I was opposite one of the ladies who does not appeal to me at all who talks all the time, usually in a negative way about anything and everything - and Xmas carols playing incessantly in the background whether you want to listen or not - with the door shut, I couldn't hear it anyroad!! I spent the afternoon and half the nite playing Cradle of Rome - I do get obsessed - lol!
Was starting to flag so I settled down and watched a couple of "Castle", went to the loo and went to sleep - Merry Xmas everyone.
- o - o - o -
Opened my eyes to another rainy day - damn, but I love this weather! Tho with most of the State flooding and getting more rain than ever, I shouldn't be so jubilant I guess, but it does so appeal to me. I stayed in bed an extra hour just to annoy my nurse for the day, Tom, who was all ready to throw me in the shower, weigh me, obs etc before I even finished breakfast - not on, sunshine! But once I did get up, I "sat out" on the big chair in my room (after I'd tidied up bits and pieces around the place) My trachie site was itching like the devil so I ended up pushing, pulling and scratching at it until it came off. And it took until about 11.00 for Tom to notice and redo it. I got weighed too whilst Vonn was here - 95.3 kg today so have put on a kilo - pooh - less Breakas and more walking around the ward I think!! (I only had 4 mini chocolate bars yesterday - and gave the leftover chocs to Vonn for her and Karrl!!) Might have to start a calourie diary again, that seems to be when I can really work out what is what.
Vonn arrived at 10.30 (she'd had to go to 3 service stations before she could find my mineral water so was a bit hot and bothered! oops!) - she had gotten my email so I did get my Macca's strawberry thickshake. Once I'd worked out I had to push up on the seat of the chair, not the arms, I finally got up and hugged her - and we both shed a little tear cos there's another one who can stop worrying!! We had a great visit and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Also we started working out actual dates of when I'm going home - and she will pick me up (she'll take the day off work quite happily - :o\) cos her car is just a slide in/slide out height - not too low and not too high - and she will be there to haul me out if my knees get stagefright again (*G*), so I was pleased to say yes, please. So the day is Friday, 21 January 2011.
We ended up visiting thru the lunch hour, besides after a large Macca's thickshake, what else could I fit in my tummy - was stuffed. Once she went (she'll be back after 3 Jan which is when she comes home from the week up at the Sunshine Coast tho she doesn't start back at work until the 10th), I went back to Cradle of Rome 2 but I ended up sleeping or a couple of hours - didn't mean to and was quite cold not under the covers, but just drifted off and didn't even hear them outside or Denice delivering my Breaka so it was a pretty deep sleep too.
Once I woke myself up properly, it was time for tea so I toddled out for 1½ plates of Potato and Leek Soup and then later on, I got Lei to get me a mango Weis bar so not too calourific tea. I want to start sewing for myself again and to do that, have to be down to 12½ stone (80 kgs) otherwise I just get pissed off with how things look! If the swallowing exercises are working as they seem to be, I should be able to go back to meat and 3 vegies, tho I may never get back to steak and a green salad or Vitawheat with fresh crab and pepper, but can have a Di Bingham special crab salad for my treat!! Once I started thinking about textures and what will go down and what won't, there's still a huge variety I can eat especially if I am careful and focus when I'm eating.
I ended up drifting off again over another new game, Lost Treasures of El Dorado (matching 3 hexagons which can get interesting cos the replacement hex's don't drop straight down on the board, they come in from the side, etc so you never quite know what you're going to end up with) about 9.30, so was still dopey from afternoon sleep - it's been steadily raining all night so that helps lull you too.
- o - o - o -
... unhappily was slept out by 1.30 am so when I woke up for the loo, was awake. I surfed around eQuilter and added a whole stack of things to my wish list and I got an email newsletter from Fictionwise in which there were a couple of interesting new releases, especially a new S H Baker, Marshall's Bayou series. One thing led to another and I finally sorted all the sundry ebooks stored all over the computer so I know what I have and re-downloaded Mobipocket and eReader (Fictionwise who are owned by Barnes&Noble) for some of the expired ebooks from Fictionwise - you really have to keep up with their changes or you waste your money cos you can't read the books anymore!! So I kept myself quite happy until breakfast *EG* - tho I did spend $20 for ebooks.
I got out of bed after breakfast, rather than spend the whole day in bed - sat out in the chair and watched a couple of "Castle" (am nearly up to the satellite episodes of this season, so I hope there is a Season 3: I do enjoy it. Then I spent the rest of the day designing quilts in EQ5 and it just wets my appetite to open all those packages and get in front of the Janome with all that new fabric - LOL!! With Lolly there, it'll be twice as much fun!! I can't even remember what I've got or what. I'm having trouble not going beserk with the US Quilt shop sales - some $3 a yard designer stuff, etc - I want it all!!
I talked Tina into bringing me soup in my room for lunch and then Denice at afternoon tea to bring me a Weis bar, but when I went for my lap around the ward (yes, I did do it today as well as a myriad of sit/stands from the chair so not a total waste), I checked out the menu and I wasn't missing out on tea: Broccoli Soup and Macca Cheese, so I made it out to tea *G* and it was totally yummy and worth toddling out there for!!
I spent the night reading a Temperance Brennan/Seely Booth ebook, Bones, but drifted off about 9.30 - been a long day, tho not a boring one by any means.
P.S. I have finally realised why my face is suddenly so jowl-ly -- like with the radiation, the trachie has swollen my throat and chin. In 2002 I looked like I was Henry VIII at his fattest in the face and it took months to go down -- so there is hope I won't stay this "moonfaced" forever whuch makes me feel a lot better.
Slept out by 12.30 a m so when I woke up for the loo, as you do - or I do - about the same time every nite, was awake although I tried my hardest to relax and go back to sleep. But my mind is way too active although my eyes are tired but I may doze for an hour or so later. Got an email from Jacqui and she was saying she will try to visit this afternoon which would be great so I sent back a burbly "what I've been doing" (tho she is keeping up with my blog - she's a lovely petal - and, yes, that is meant for you, my caring friend) and please try to come, I'd love to see her.
I finished my book and surfed about, spent some money (when don't I??) on eBay (more quilting fabric - this time for backing for 2011 Think Pink quilt for work - very graphic - fuscia/black modern funky flowers/birds/butterflies and know exactly what to do with the front now I have the back - as I say, I cannot wait to get sewing - if Lolly is in a creative mood too as she said, Killeen Street will be humming. I cannot wait!
At 4.00 a m the nurses brought me a cuppa and I updated this blog while I enjoyed that - I never noticed before but the Gateway Bridge at night is strung with blue lights - I can see if through my window - and as I watched then, they went out!! lol - it's 4.45 a m. There was no rain during the nite although it's still overcast so maybe it's on its way elsewhere. We had some sunlight for fully 30 seconds but it went back to heavy skies straight away. I'm now going to start designing my Think Pink quilt because I've had a brainwave *G*
Well, for the last day of the holiday, I really did nowt again tho half heartedly did some leg exercises - didn't sit out in big chair today, just mooched about - read another ebook I already have, watched a couple of TV shows, played Lost Treasure of El Dorado and some Cradle of Rome 2 - and Jacqui and her Mum did make it this arvo, so we had a great visit and talked craft and fabric (of course) cos Jacqui's Mum knits, quilts, sews etc so it made me so impatient to get outta here and get started!! It was Jacqui's Mum who knitted me my mitten/gloves that saved my fingers after the cancer - and also my toes with knitted slippers.
I logged in to Facebook to see what I had missed over the past few days and an advert caught my eye for an email group (also on Facebook) called Stitchtalk. For all hand crafts that are sewn, knitted and crocheted, not just quilting so I joined it - might get me re-motivated for "proper" sewing, ie tops, pants, dresses, home decor (like slipcovers!) - very friendly mob and I was welcomed immediately. So look forward to getting to see what they do, familiarise myself with the site, etc.
Irene, one of the catering staff, popped in to ask me if I minded being swapped to the top table as there'd been a kafoofle in the dining room. I said Yes cos felt I couldn't do anything else and as she said, I don't go out as much as the others. On my first nite out for dinner, there was a kafoofle at the top table! Sheesh, can't even eat in peace! Dell, who is on the same sort of diet as me and as modified by Penny, ran into trouble with the silly Indian nurse and Tina because we are allowed to try anything we feel will go down without problems, you know make some adult decisions about what goes in our gobs!! But they couldn't find that written down anywhere so she couldn't have the omelet, which was all that was on the menu that was vegetarian (trust Dell to be a vegan and cause problems with it) - she kept arguing with the nurses that it was all there was for her to eat but without Penny there, they wouldn't budge and Dell kept arguing - and in the end, I just got up, got my walker and left the dining room - this perpetual, interminable discussing everything or arguing the rights and wrongs drives me mental. I said to Dell that until Penny came in, the nurses weren't going to change their minds, and one night with just soup would not starve either of us, but Dell had to make her points!! *sigh* Was glad to get out of there - please can I go home!!
I managed to stay awake until 9.30 p m but then drifted off - it'd been a long day - fraught with people which I am getting less and less able to deal with politely - am actually glad the holiday is over and it's back to work tomorrow!! People won't have so much time on their hands to be unreasonable!
I got out of bed after breakfast, rather than spend the whole day in bed - sat out in the chair and watched a couple of "Castle" (am nearly up to the satellite episodes of this season, so I hope there is a Season 3: I do enjoy it. Then I spent the rest of the day designing quilts in EQ5 and it just wets my appetite to open all those packages and get in front of the Janome with all that new fabric - LOL!! With Lolly there, it'll be twice as much fun!! I can't even remember what I've got or what. I'm having trouble not going beserk with the US Quilt shop sales - some $3 a yard designer stuff, etc - I want it all!!
I talked Tina into bringing me soup in my room for lunch and then Denice at afternoon tea to bring me a Weis bar, but when I went for my lap around the ward (yes, I did do it today as well as a myriad of sit/stands from the chair so not a total waste), I checked out the menu and I wasn't missing out on tea: Broccoli Soup and Macca Cheese, so I made it out to tea *G* and it was totally yummy and worth toddling out there for!!
I spent the night reading a Temperance Brennan/Seely Booth ebook, Bones, but drifted off about 9.30 - been a long day, tho not a boring one by any means.
P.S. I have finally realised why my face is suddenly so jowl-ly -- like with the radiation, the trachie has swollen my throat and chin. In 2002 I looked like I was Henry VIII at his fattest in the face and it took months to go down -- so there is hope I won't stay this "moonfaced" forever whuch makes me feel a lot better.
- o - o - o -
Slept out by 12.30 a m so when I woke up for the loo, as you do - or I do - about the same time every nite, was awake although I tried my hardest to relax and go back to sleep. But my mind is way too active although my eyes are tired but I may doze for an hour or so later. Got an email from Jacqui and she was saying she will try to visit this afternoon which would be great so I sent back a burbly "what I've been doing" (tho she is keeping up with my blog - she's a lovely petal - and, yes, that is meant for you, my caring friend) and please try to come, I'd love to see her.
I finished my book and surfed about, spent some money (when don't I??) on eBay (more quilting fabric - this time for backing for 2011 Think Pink quilt for work - very graphic - fuscia/black modern funky flowers/birds/butterflies and know exactly what to do with the front now I have the back - as I say, I cannot wait to get sewing - if Lolly is in a creative mood too as she said, Killeen Street will be humming. I cannot wait!
At 4.00 a m the nurses brought me a cuppa and I updated this blog while I enjoyed that - I never noticed before but the Gateway Bridge at night is strung with blue lights - I can see if through my window - and as I watched then, they went out!! lol - it's 4.45 a m. There was no rain during the nite although it's still overcast so maybe it's on its way elsewhere. We had some sunlight for fully 30 seconds but it went back to heavy skies straight away. I'm now going to start designing my Think Pink quilt because I've had a brainwave *G*
Well, for the last day of the holiday, I really did nowt again tho half heartedly did some leg exercises - didn't sit out in big chair today, just mooched about - read another ebook I already have, watched a couple of TV shows, played Lost Treasure of El Dorado and some Cradle of Rome 2 - and Jacqui and her Mum did make it this arvo, so we had a great visit and talked craft and fabric (of course) cos Jacqui's Mum knits, quilts, sews etc so it made me so impatient to get outta here and get started!! It was Jacqui's Mum who knitted me my mitten/gloves that saved my fingers after the cancer - and also my toes with knitted slippers.
I logged in to Facebook to see what I had missed over the past few days and an advert caught my eye for an email group (also on Facebook) called Stitchtalk. For all hand crafts that are sewn, knitted and crocheted, not just quilting so I joined it - might get me re-motivated for "proper" sewing, ie tops, pants, dresses, home decor (like slipcovers!) - very friendly mob and I was welcomed immediately. So look forward to getting to see what they do, familiarise myself with the site, etc.
Irene, one of the catering staff, popped in to ask me if I minded being swapped to the top table as there'd been a kafoofle in the dining room. I said Yes cos felt I couldn't do anything else and as she said, I don't go out as much as the others. On my first nite out for dinner, there was a kafoofle at the top table! Sheesh, can't even eat in peace! Dell, who is on the same sort of diet as me and as modified by Penny, ran into trouble with the silly Indian nurse and Tina because we are allowed to try anything we feel will go down without problems, you know make some adult decisions about what goes in our gobs!! But they couldn't find that written down anywhere so she couldn't have the omelet, which was all that was on the menu that was vegetarian (trust Dell to be a vegan and cause problems with it) - she kept arguing with the nurses that it was all there was for her to eat but without Penny there, they wouldn't budge and Dell kept arguing - and in the end, I just got up, got my walker and left the dining room - this perpetual, interminable discussing everything or arguing the rights and wrongs drives me mental. I said to Dell that until Penny came in, the nurses weren't going to change their minds, and one night with just soup would not starve either of us, but Dell had to make her points!! *sigh* Was glad to get out of there - please can I go home!!
I managed to stay awake until 9.30 p m but then drifted off - it'd been a long day - fraught with people which I am getting less and less able to deal with politely - am actually glad the holiday is over and it's back to work tomorrow!! People won't have so much time on their hands to be unreasonable!
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